One time when visiting my mother-in-law we were having sex when she went to the store. When we heard her pull into the driveway we quickly finished and then raced outside to help her bring the bags in from the car. In the process, my husband dropped the used condom on the front step. As my mother in-law walked into the house, it got stuck too the bottom of her shoe. It was so embarrassing.

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now”, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!” The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter …

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat!”
I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.”
“I know,” she replied …
“but what is growing in your butt?”

One of the most traumatic days of my life occurred when I was a chubby little 8th grader. It was 7th period history class. Our teacher was out and we had a substitute. It was supposed to be quiet reading and of course my buddy and I were goofing around in the back of the class. At one point he grabbed my hand and yanked me sideways causing my butt to leave the chair. The unfortunate consequence of this was that one of the loudest farts I have ever ripped was allowed to escape. Laughter erupted the silent classroom. The substitute asked who did it and my ‘buddy’ ratted me out immediately (Thanks Rich!). She of course assumed that I had made the sound on purpose. If I had been smart I would have agreed and been a hero throughout the class. Instead, red-faced, I protested that I had genuinely passed wind by accident but to no avail. The laughter which had previously been directed at the teacher was now aimed squarely at me.

Continue reading this post…

I was playing cards over at a buddy’s house. The guy sitting to my right was a ‘little person’ we’ll call him Dan. Before the start of one of the hands, I was the big blind, which made Dan the small blind. He forgot to put in his bet, so I said, “Hey Dan your small!” He gives me this angry stare and say, “Dude thats just wrong!” I stared back with a horrified look on my face just realizing what I had said. Fortunately Dan was just yanking my chain. He along with everyone else at the table then busted out laughing.

This post was submitted by WW2.

Ever been caught in the act? With your hand in the cookie jar? With your pants down? Red handed? Maybe you just put your foot in your mouth. Well, Utterly Embarrassing is the place tell us all about those vulnerable moments when your soul (or your bottom) was bared for the world to see.