One of the most traumatic days of my life occurred when I was a chubby little 8th grader. It was 7th period history class. Our teacher was out and we had a substitute. It was supposed to be quiet reading and of course my buddy and I were goofing around in the back of the class. At one point he grabbed my hand and yanked me sideways causing my butt to leave the chair. The unfortunate consequence of this was that one of the loudest farts I have ever ripped was allowed to escape. Laughter erupted the silent classroom. The substitute asked who did it and my ‘buddy’ ratted me out immediately (Thanks Rich!). She of course assumed that I had made the sound on purpose. If I had been smart I would have agreed and been a hero throughout the class. Instead, red-faced, I protested that I had genuinely passed wind by accident but to no avail. The laughter which had previously been directed at the teacher was now aimed squarely at me.
My humiliation was far from over. I was sent to the office. A traumatic experience in itself as I had never been sent their before in my life. Here I had to explain to the secretaries exactly what had happened and why I had been sent. They obviously took pity on me because they sent me back to class in the middle of 8th period without having to explain any thing to the Vice Principle. During 8th period I had science class. My lovely teacher there made me explain to her why I was late to class. When I tried to quietly tell her what happened she told me to speak up and in front of the entire class I had to again explain what happened to the kindly grins, hysterical laugher, and pointing fingers of my classmates. I was made fun of the entire walk home from school and for the three days that followed. At home of course I had to explain to both of my parents what had happened and why I had been sent to the office. All in all this was one of the most traumatic and humiliating days of my childhood.