One time when visiting my mother-in-law we were having sex when she went to the store. When we heard her pull into the driveway we quickly finished and then raced outside to help her bring the bags in from the car. In the process, my husband dropped the used condom on the front step. As […]

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While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now”, she would be punished. To […]

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When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat!”
I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.”
“I know,” she replied …
“but what is growing in […]

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One of the most traumatic days of my life occurred when I was a chubby little 8th grader. It was 7th period history class. Our teacher was out and we had a substitute. It was supposed to be quiet reading and of course my buddy and I were goofing around in the back of the […]

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I was playing cards over at a buddy’s house. The guy sitting to my right was a ‘little person’ we’ll call him Dan. Before the start of one of the hands, I was the big blind, which made Dan the small blind. He forgot to put in his bet, so I said, “Hey Dan your […]

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Ever been caught in the act? With your hand in the cookie jar? With your pants down? Red handed? Maybe you just put your foot in your mouth. Well, Utterly Embarrassing is the place tell us all about those vulnerable moments when your soul (or your bottom) was bared for the world to see.

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